This Pain Within Us
by KanaMac
Summary: "Dashi, what's pain?" Hiro asks one day. "Pain is the rain inside everyone's heart." Tadashi answers gently. "Can you make it go away?" Hiro asks again. "If you capture the sun and give it to them." "Come on Dashi! Let's go catch the sun!"


**See the end for notes**

 **WARNING:THERE IS ANGST AND SADMAD**

 **Chapter 1: Hiro's Death**

 **()()()()()()()()()()()**

Tadashi Hamada looked out the rain streaked window at the little stone sitting outside. It read, _In loving memory of Hiro Hamada._ The stone was so small. _Hiro_ was so small. He was young and deserved to live longer.

The car that hit his brother on that day was a dirty black minivan. Its windows were tinted dark, like it was death itself; hurdling towards Hiro's defenseless form in the middle of the streets. The day he died was so _sunny._ It was as if the world couldn't care less that an angel had left the living world. Flowers were blooming and bursting with color, the sky was cloudless and the day warm. The days following Hiro's death were dark and rainy and dreary.

 _Flashback:_

 _Hiro and Tadashi were riding the red moped back from one of Hiro's botfights. Tadashi had just finished lecturing him about safety and botfights._

 _Suddenly, Hiro looked up to his brother and tugged his shirt. "Nii-san, I left my Megabot at the botfight! You have to let me get it! It took forever to make!"_

 _"W-what?!" Tadashi parked the moped at the side of the street. "N-no! Those thugs at the fight would kill you! I'll get it!"_

 _"Please! The fight's over, I promise! And it's nearly noon, the time where the town is busiest. They're all gone, I swear!" Hiro begged, pouting._

 _Tadashi stared at his brother. Then pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. But if you're not back in five minutes, I'm going to hunt you down!"_

 _"Don't worry," Hiro jumped off the moped and handed his brother the helmet with a smile._

 _"If I run, I'll make it!"_

"He never made it…" Tadashi looked back at the little memorial for Hiro. It was surrounded by letters that had turned soggy from the rain, drooping lilies from the lack of sunlight, and burnt out candles in delicate porcelain cups.

The elder brother hadn't slept in his room for days. It was certain that he would have to cross Hiro's room in order to get to his. The memory was too painful. So he slept on the sofa.

None of his friends from SFIT dared to enter the darkness of the Lucky Cat Cafe following the accident. The café was no longer a place of piping hot pastries and laughter, but a heavy, dank, melancholy reminder of the lost brother, friend, and nephew.

"Sweetheart?" A small tentative voice from Cass Hamada came from the kitchen. The small woman popped her head out of the room. She had bags under her eyes and no makeup. Her once poofy short hair had grown long, but limp. "Gogo wants to talk to you." Cass hands her nephew the phone and watches worriedly as he walks outside with it.

Tadashi stepped outside in the rain and held the phone to his ear. "Gogo."

There was a second of static, and then a female voice came on. "Tadashi. I need to talk to you."

"Make it fast."He replied curtly.

"Fine." Gogo took a deep breath. "Tadashi, the gang's really worried about you. So am I. And the professors."

Tadashi rolls his eyes. "Isn't everyone? I'm so tired of everyone pitying me."

A hint of anger enters Gogo's tone. "What did you expect? Everyone being happy for you?!"

"No…"

"Hiro would never approve of this." Gogo says softly. "It's been three months. It's time to pull yourself together."

Tadashi laughs bitterly. "Hiro doesn't exist anymore. He's _dead._ " The word tasted so wrong in his mouth.

Gogo sighs softly over the phone. "That's not true. Hiro will always be within us as long as we remember him."

"That's what Aunt Cass said." groans Tadashi. "That's what everyone in this whole town is telling me and I'm sick of it."

Gogo burst out, "How could you say that?! You know that Hiro will always be with us!"

"NO HE'S NOT!" Tadashi roared in pain. He sank to his knees onto the wet pavement. "He's gone…my precious little brother is gone forever! You would never understand how I feel!"

There was a moment of silence between both of them. For a minute, Tadashi thought that his friend had hung up. He heard fast footsteps padding through the rain towards him. He quickly made a move to get back inside the cafe, but a firm hand grasped his wrist.

Standing in front of him was Gogo Tomago herself. She was breathing hard through her nostrils with hard brown eyes that were reddened with tears. It _had_ been three months and much had changed about her. Her hair no longer had its legendary purple streak and she had lost a lot of weight. Also, she was very much pale. She wore a black uniform and a red cast enclosing her right arm.

"Your arm…" Tadashi began.

Without warning, Gogo whipped her good arm out and slapped him soundly on the cheek. Tadashi stumbled back from the impact and cradled his swelling cheek in tears. "Gogo! What the-"

"You think you're the only one who's suffering? Huh?! I have to go through the pain of losing Hiro _and_ the Tadashi Hamada that I once knew! I'M HURTING TOO!" She screamed.

 _Slap._ Gogo slapped him again, harder. "Honey Lemon's mother died the day after Hiro did! Wasabi hasn't eaten properly in months because he's so worried about everyone! Fred is severely depressed! I broke my wrist taking my pain and anger out on a brick wall! How do you think we feel?!"

She looked down at Tadashi with watery solemn eyes. Her voice was soft, a whimper. "Please…please understand…"

Tadashi's eyes were wide. "I-I'm sorry…I didn't know…"

Gogo knelt down beside him and took his face in his hands. "Look at what I've done…I've hurt you…I'm so sorry Tadashi…" She wept at the sight of his reddened cheeks from her slaps.

Tentatively, Tadashi patted her shoulder. "I'm fine Gogo." He had never seen such a strong woman break down so heavily.

"I loved Hiro." Gogo whispers. "Did you know that?"

"I loved him too." Tadashi embraces his hurting friend. "I still do and I always will."

The wind or perhaps, the remnant of a young boy's voice brushed the shell of Tadashi's ear. _I love you too Dashi…_

Tadashi jerked his head up. "Did you hear that Gogo?"

"What?" She stared at the sky with her gawking friend.

A hint of a long lost smile touched his lips. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

 **()()()()()())(())(()**

 **Er, I hope that was dramatic/angsty enough.**

 **First of all, I'd like to apologize formally for not updating. I've been quite busy, as we all are these days as we prepare to become adults who will one day make a difference to this world. I'm about to enter high school this year and am super nervous!**

 **This is my new series (what do u call it? Idk.)**

 **I will take any suggestions for my next chapter. But here are some rules:**

 **-They have to be about the grief/anger/sadness/any form of emotional pain of one or more Big Hero 6 characters**

 **-Please be specific in your suggestions**

 **Thank you! Love you all!**

 **Follow, fav, review! Please tell me what you think about it!**


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